did it break enough this time?

Sometimes I wonder why adults don't take the time to physically process how they feel. As infants, without the luxury of language, we use crying to communicate our needs or when something is wrong. We grow up and crying becomes less socially acceptable. We don't usually do it in public, or find it embarrassing when it does happen, hastily wiping tears away with the back of a hand. Expressions of grief or sadness or just being upset aren't released by adults. They hover near the surface until we can push them back down, compartmentalize them, and move on. Even genuinely happy people could use some emotional purging every now and again.

I hadn't had a good cry in a while. You know... the loud ugly cry. With the sniffling and the sobs and the little gaspy breaths in-between. It was quite cathartic; something I had forgotten. Maybe I've been going around with my emotions to close to the surface. Maybe that causes me to say or do things that I wouldn't normally. Or maybe people pick up on the lingering feelings over what my actual actions are and read them the wrong way. Like some kind of extra sense that pervades how I interact with others. I wish I knew what people wanted, or that there was some consistency to it. Barring mind-reading, the best I can do is just be a good person and hope that effort is recognized, not questioned. And, I guess, cry.