in just-

spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame baloonman


whistles far and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring


when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old baloonman whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing


from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's
spring
and
the


goat-footed

baloonMan whistles
far
and
wee

-e.e. cummings (1920)

well, the apocalypse starts tomorrow...

I keep meaning to blog about the upcoming PA primary, which after an excruciating month of bs (preachers and pundits edition), finally appears to be upon us. I have the angle for the post all figured out- having spent my undergrad years outside of Philly at that uppity womens' college I hold so dear... it would start by describing what I remember of the 2000 election.

I remember not sleeping that night in November, watching the returns come in with friends in our pajamas, watching the state of florida become a jump ball in a basketball game where the scoreboard was not diligently following the direction of the possession arrow, watching on a screen projector in the dining hall of one of the dorms... where I ate breakfast and brunch and lunch and dinner with the rugby team after practice... where I read the NY Times daily and made my own rice crispy treats by microwaving marshmallows with a pat of butter in a bowl and mixing in the cereal. this was the dorm of my current gf, yet somehow I ended up back in my own bed at some obscene hour of the following morning. I remember skipping class the next day, too depressed to deal with the electoral reality, sleeping in through PChem and Inorganic. these are vivid images that should shape my take on the Democratic primary on Tuesday... I can talk about feminism and Bosnia and shooting Crown Royal and the Weather Underground under the guise of my perspective as a naive 20 YO of what life was like 8 years ago before this great misadventure in our country's history. but that is not the post I want to write tonight...

for those of you who may have missed it, I have been on a total music binge the last 8 months. for whatever reason, new music has become an addiction again, not paralleled since those college days. I have bought close to a dozen cds since the new year. I am averaging 4 live shows a month... ticket stubs and jewel cases abound. I am struggling to make single volume mixes. hell, I even bought a wireless hard drive to dump old photos and mp3s on to make room for the new stuff on itunes. tomorrow night is the New Pornographers show (featuring the lovely Neko Case among others...) with Okkervil River opening. And I must admit, other than Neko, I am total there to see Okkervil River. their song "Plus Ones" is an clever trip down memory lane, featuring references in the song lyrics to, among others:

97 tears (see Bay City, MI)
the 100th Luftballoon (nouns are capitalized in Deutsch)
8 chinese brothers (last stage of the sleep cycle)
the 51st way to leave your lover (live in Central Park)
and candle 17 (I heart Molly Ringwald)

Okkervil is on the JagJaguwar label. as is Bon Iver, another new fave, an indie neo-soul crackrock perfection. "Skinny Love" could easily be the best song for the year. please, please, please check them out. give them your hard earned cash. because, if you do, I will eventually write about the PA primary. unless my new emo band name becomes reality (see post title) and I have to go see them. :) afterall, there was an earthquake this morning...

still your silver lining...

if I take the time to put my constant reflection aside, there is a lot to feel good about.

in the just now. the moment. where all my thoughts stick to this single experience of simply existing. here at my desk in lab (as always), drinking black coffee (as always), listening to XPN (as always)... unfortunately, every instance is not attractive. as my yoga teacher says, it takes effort to stay present. to bring your mind back to the task at hand and remain content there. to focus.

I am, for the most part, a planner. I believe there is purpose behind my actions; there is intent. and this often leads my thinking to the past, and to how I want that past to move and shape my future. this doesn't leave much time to enjoy what is actually happening around me. sometimes though, there is an image... an object, a person, a sound that I want to hold onto and revel in. and maybe it's cycling or yoga or finding those you connect with deeply. but there is something in my life right now that is reeling me into the moments around me. I feel grounded. and that's a good thing. and I just want to say thanks for it...

for seeing a small red fox, a city fox, crossing my street on Sunday night. from alley to alley, beneath the streetlight

for beautiful live music with friends. hands in pockets, wrists thrust out at right angles, caught in the sway of the crowd

for friends and family (blood or otherwise) and taking the time to be by myself

Alex Chilton and a road bike

"I'm in love...
what's that song?
I'm in love...
with that song"

at the moment there are two things that I <3 just a bit more than everything else...

one is an old flame and the other is my brand-new obsession:

1. The Replacements. Likely one of the best bands ever. And don't just take my word for it- they come complete with a RnR gf seal of approval.
   
2. My new road bike. a Specialized Dolce. Isn't she gorgeous?! Feel free to ogle. I "can't hardly wait" for all those long rides :)